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The Field Trip
They once took us on a school field trip to Greenwich Park to look at the observatory. Thirty 12-year-old kids bored out of our minds with the solar system, although excited to think we were lightyears...
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Don’t Read All About It
Wotcha, sorry I’m late.I just spent an hour in a line waiting for the last ever copy of The News of the World. No, not really. But I suspect a lot did. So farewell then etc etc … As horrible as it must...
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It’s Telly Selly Time
We’ll be right back after these messages from your local stations. So if you’re not interested, go put the kettle on. No sugar for me, thanks. www.sharpsingleimages.com If you have no interest in the...
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Horse Feathers
Whenever I have thought about getting a pet for myself and the incumbent Mrs B, a gee gee has never really sprung to mind. I know they’re lovely animals and all that, but you could never sit on the...
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For Sale (one piece missing)
Clearing out the loft this morning I came across a few old sets from my Subbuteo game. I could never understand why I never won a match when I played with my QPR “Joey Barton” Edition. Anyway, yours...
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And Not a Drop to Drink
This drought is getting on my tits. Last week my dad and I fitted another water butt to the back of the potting shed, and because of these drought conditions, these effects of global warming which has...
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The Candy Man
I’m sure you are, as indeed I am, thrilled to hear that Robbie Williams is back, where he belongs at Number One in what Jimmy and Fluff used to call the Hit Parade with his Noel Coward-esque ditty...
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I Swear by Almighty God…
Well I suppose the time has come to stop moaning about how skint I am, get up off my arse and go get a job. That may sound a ludicrous idea in this day and age, but there seem to be a lot of jobs...
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